Even as a foolish boy it seemed strange to me that anyone would want to get literally boned. What exactly is it about shoving a washboard up somebody's coochie that apparently resonates? I've never met a woman who was into it. Look at their dildos! Draconic cervix traumatizers notwithstanding I don't see a lot of ribbing going on.

I learned about ribbed condoms from Monty Python and the Meaning of Life, and by God, that's how everyone should learn about them!