Mother Mary
So, let me get this straight. Joseph notices that Mary is pregnant. Joseph confronts Mary about it. And Mary replies: err, hmm, I know, the angel of the Lord came down and impregnated me. We're going to have the child of God. And Joseph is like: okay, cool.
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Even Biblical writers were not that dumb. They said Joseph was all, Bullshit, but I still have the feels." So he was going to quietly break their engagement.
Then an angel appeared in his dreams and said, "It's true, bro, you can trust us."
Not saying it's a great story, but it's slightly more believable.
There’s a non zero chance that marry gave him an epic blowjob.
Alternatively, slipped him some special shrooms or something.
"The Lord claimed this hole, but left these two for you. What do you say? Stay?"
Mary may or may not have been a virgin in the original text. There's a translation discrepancy. This thread on Reddit goes more in depth with it than most people probably would be interested in.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AcademicBiblical/comments/utqtov/is_virgin_definitely_a_mistranslation/
tl;dr : the word translated to young woman, and that was later changed by translators to virgin.
Why bother dissecting a work of fiction?
Because it's stupid and it makes me laugh
Mary: I was raped by an occupying Roman soldier who impregnated me, my family will murder me...
Joseph: we'll say god made you with child and we'll get married, fixed.
At least that's my theory on the whole thing
When presented with a fantasy, every theory is plausible.
It's a rehashed, remade, repeated story.
A lot like how we all all repeat and repost memes on social media.
Someone came up with the original story a long, long, long time ago and it got reposted. Then the Egyptians told the same story, then the Greeks, then the Persians, then several other middle eastern tribes (I don't know the details but it was a repeated story) ... girl gets mysteriously pregnant, claims god dropped his seed and now she's carrying the baby.
No one knows who the original OP was ... probably some hunter gatherer that left his girl for a month and came home to find her pregnant and now had to come up with a story to explain it to people. Then his original post just got repeated a thousand times.
It’s all made up. Don’t take it so seriously. FYI, there are also no such thing as invisible wizards in the sky that grant wishes.
...dammit, there goes my backup backup plan.
I was just about to say that
And thus the term, "cuck" was invented.