In an internal memo sent to the paper’s 5,800 employees, publisher A.G. Sulzberger said that while he had done everything in his power to keep The New York Times afloat, The Onion’s latest expansion into physical media had forced the company to reevaluate all parts of its business—from its glaringly inaccurate reporting, to its comparatively low circulation numbers, to its deeply unpopular brand, to its completely inept columnists.

I mean . . .