Spyke

Speeding down the street when the red lights flash

Need to get away, need to make a dash

A song comes on that reminds me of you and I

Jizz in my pants

52

Imagine the seizure of bliss and horror a carnival house of mirrors with evoke.

6
lemm.ee

I know this is just a "grass is always greener" because I am horridly burned out at my current gig and it's only getting worse, but damn, I'm really sitting here on my lunch break going "Yeah, gathering fish jizz sounds a whole lot better than going back into this hellhole".

On the other hand, you probably need some marine life education to become the cuddlefish jizzmopper that I certainly lack.

86

They don't want to be a cuttlefish jizmopper. They want to be a cuddlefish jizmopper. Much cozier species.

5
feddit.org

I stare at a big, brightly lit rectangle and press little rectangles with my fingers.
I get paid about $0.02 per rectangle press on average.

51
slrpnk.net

Do the rectangle presses have to form a sort of order? Or can you optimize your pressing by rolling your head on them until the day is over?

34
lemmy.ml

Would he be considered into autoeroticism?

12
superkretreply
feddit.org

No, he isn't smart enough to recognize himself in a mirror. He just ejaculates whenever he thinks he sees another scuttlefish, hoping it's a female.

25

I don't know if "scuttlefish" was intentional but I love it.

13

"It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination."

7

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What do you do for work? | Spyke