Spyke

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“Whenever we kissed, it just always felt like something was missing”.

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It's not that beauty is skin-deep, it's that the subdermal tissues and structures are the stuff of eldricht nightmares and cronenbergian horror.

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Image of a man kissing a woman's upper lip to distract her while preparing to jam his tongue up her nose.

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Many recipients of the demifacectomy are able to return to normal lives after the procedure. With their growing numbers, some are even finding relationship success on social media communities like those on fabook.com, a Facebook like site that kept only half the face in its name and its users.

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"Humans engaging in tongue combat to determine fitness of mate. Note the closed eyes, scientists believe this is because of how bloody this ritual could become; humans closed their eyes to keep the blood out."

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"The laser beam is capable of slicing right through human skin and even bones!"

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"Can YOU spot the lovers kiss? 96% of readers only see vegetables!"

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Why kissing is objectively kinda gross, exhibit A:

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So I'm at Burning Man and my buddy is like "Hey, do you feel a little weird?" and I'm like "Yeah, yeah, I feel a little weird. Why?" And he's like "'Member those cookies my girlfriend gave our camp at dinner time?" I'm like "Yeah. Why?" He's like "Well, here's the thing..."

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Fig. 1 Captured image of the effects of a space-time distortion field on the human body. Picture released by the respective families estate.

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Caption this. | Spyke