I also try to breath normally and silently when bypassing someone while jogging, just before I am dying from lack of oxygen and failing back into panting.

I can relate to this especially this past week visiting Yellowstone National Park. I climb a category 2 mountain and felt like I was dying when I reached the top. But damn it was worth it.

Or stairs in buildings. I don't want my coworkers judging how out of shape I am.

Breathe harder, lean in real close to bystanders, lock eye contact, assert dominance

Nah, I just run up that hill and make fun of all the fat kids.

No really! If I were to stop running, people would hear my wheezing breath. Can't have that.

I've had to do this when filming videos on my phone, the new microphones are too good!

my asthmatic ass chugging and whistling like a goddamn train

Every day when climbing the stairs at work.

I’m too worried about picking the right moment to say hi kr give an awkward smile awkward smile.

And if you only could
You'd make a deal with God

💀