Unpopular (?) opinion - text/IM systems are asynchronous messaging systems, and in most cases it's totally reasonable to not immediately jump on your phone and answer a message as soon as you get the notification.
One of my friends is the sort of person who will stop mid sentence when their phone pings so they can answer whatever they've been sent and it drives me nuts
My phone used to be on vibrate until i accidentally cut the motor during a repair. My phone suddenly became a healthier part of my life where i look at it when i feel like. I also miss every urgent message from everyone.
My wife is like that, and it kills me. I might leave your text unread for hours because if it was important, you'd call. I have priorities! Like the next round of Helldivers.
For some reason I don't get spam calls. I'm just had to look and the last call I received about anything was on the 18th of February. Where are all my spam calls dammit, I'm missing out.
It doesn't offer any out of the box filters to my knowledge. What are you talking about?
My carrier does but it's pretty bad. It does filter maybe 70 out of 150 and then I blocked each and every one. At a certain point I'll have blocked every single number in my area code. Which is fine because I no longer live in the area code for my phone number.
This is so annoying, I like to remain in the room even if I’m using my phone, but my friends literally check-out. Like they’re in another place and can’t communicate with me whilst using their phones.
I used to date a girl who would answer her phone mid-sex to have some innane conversation for 30 minutes and not see a problem with that at all. That relationship did not last very long.
It's unpopular because it's so far removed from it's closes analogue analogue, envelope mail. And because it's on mobile phones people incorrectly assume it's closer to a phone call.
I find it's simpler to simplify all internet scenarios to postal mail & home telephone scenarios.
I always see the priority from highest to lowest as Calls, then texts then emails. Texts can be responded to immediately or later in the day, but more than ~4-8 hours is unacceptable
I'd raise that to 24 hours, but you're right. I know two people like that. One just lets messages pile up until they feel like responding, which can take up to a month. Another straight up told me they have so much incoming messages that they have no hope of ever going throughб so if I wanted to reach themб I should keep messaging them like every few minutes to keep the dialogue up in the list. I'd say that's just a poor communications hygiene. Suffice to say I don't really talk to either of them anymore. I know smalltalk isn't urgent, but I cant see it as a dialogue anymore if it goes slower than a message/day.
This is me too. That and there is this stupid goddamn idea of "caring too much." Like responding quickly is a bad thing because it makes you seem desperate... Ffs I wouldn't be messaging you if I wasn't interested, but now I need to wait and play a stupid mind game so I don't lose the persons interest because they might assume that stupid thing about quick replies being a bad thing...
There's a Deathbulge comic for that, I just can't find it. Basically a dude taking forever to reply to get "cool points" and accidentally replying immediately a second time, immediately losing all his cool
If it's recently, its probably helldiver's 2 in which case wait your fucking turn lady! He's risking his life to spread liberty and force democracy on godless bugs and soulless robots. THESE ARE IMPORTANT THINGS
At one point in college some friends and i made up a system for just explicitly state what sort of response you needed. Ok, "made up a system" is a little over stating it. Basically it was "Hey this is important can I have your undivided attention?" through the lens of stupid nerd jokes. Like, "setPriority(10) i'm locked out of my apartment do you have a spare key?" vs "setPriority(0) i am so mad that fallout3 requires GFWL"
Now i'd probably just say "hey this is important do you have a few minutes?" in normal words.
Thinking about it, I think I have 4 priorities as things stand:
4 - Message in the group chat
3 - Message in the group chat with @
2 - Direct message
1 - Phone call
If you used setPriority, does that mean all subsequent messages have the same priority? Or is this a dsl that implicitly takes the message as the second parameter?
Any breaks during CK3 make me forget which country the daughter was to be married to compared to the country who's line you were exterminating to get a title, yeah I need to sort that out before replying to a text about what flavour ice cream is the best. I do need to work on my memory though.
Actual games. Obviously I'm generalizing here and that isn't fair, but there are times when I feel like my wife is a Great Wife Buffalo who has never had the patience for that bullshit. She's very direct when communicating.
Whenever someone sends me an important message and I don't read/respond in time, they call to get my attention so I can do so. My ex used to get mad at me for "ignoring" her for 2h or more and would call. I was just busy doing whatever and ignoring the phone as usual.
I hate that. Also in a business setting. By definition a message (be it text, email, whatever) is not urgent. They might be important and of course you shouldn't leave them unread for days, but for urgency there's calls.
Oh I'm busy doing some other aspect of my life. Might possibly be that I'm working, at my job, which by the way was one of your requirements on the dating profile.
Not absolutely everything in my life is about video games.
Yeah, it's weird that we've relegated this amazing technology that lets you communicate by voice (and now video) to the back burner in favor of a far more cumbersome one that removes so much context in terms of tone.
For an average guy, you'd be lucky to get more than one convo.
As another user mentioned, there are bigger priorities at the moment on top of texting-- like you're working. And personally, I don't like texting especially with crappy autocorrect of phones. I prefer speaking in person.
Texting is a non-instantaneous form of communication for when things aren't time sensitive. If both of you are choosing to communicate via text then both of you are in agreement that immediate response is not required.
Therefore the lack of intermediate response is not indicative of anything.
Get out of here trying to put significance on things that have none.
I can certainly say this is the case for me. I don't know many men or women I have any real interest in getting to know better let alone actually become romantically involved with. I used to just go off physical attraction and try to power through the relationship by faking interest in whatever they wanted to talk about and being funny which could usually carry it for a few months before they got bored of me. At this stage of my life though I've gotten over the "need to be in a relationship to feel complete" thing so now I just don't try to date.
You might find you fit under the aromantic umbrella, if you're looking for others in your situation. It's certainly a valid state to be in, and I hope that not having to seek out romantic relationships has made your life more fulfilling.
What I'd caution (or what I found particularly irritating in the comment I initially replied to) was implying that one is superior and all others are vacuous shells of human beings, which just comes across as pompous and arrogant.
I don't think it makes me better than anyone. Sorry if my comment came across that way. If anything I think it makes me an asshole. I just can't really do anything to change that about myself other than bow out of the dating game.
Oh don't worry -- I didn't get that from your comment! Only the original one I replied to. And I don't think having difficulty with romantic relationships or necessarily friendships makes you an asshole. I hope you're able to find what makes you happy.
Unpopular (?) opinion - text/IM systems are asynchronous messaging systems, and in most cases it's totally reasonable to not immediately jump on your phone and answer a message as soon as you get the notification.
One of my friends is the sort of person who will stop mid sentence when their phone pings so they can answer whatever they've been sent and it drives me nuts
Can't remember the last time I had my phone off silent.
Yeah my phone gets attention when i want, not when it wants.
I have all notifications off for all apps too, i don't need an app saying hey we haven't fed you crap for an hour come look
My phone used to be on vibrate until i accidentally cut the motor during a repair. My phone suddenly became a healthier part of my life where i look at it when i feel like. I also miss every urgent message from everyone.
My wife is like that, and it kills me. I might leave your text unread for hours because if it was important, you'd call. I have priorities! Like the next round of Helldivers.
I'll never call. But I also understand that not everyone looks at their phone at all times.
Don't forget to take breaks... If you want to be remembered as a coward!
Does anyone call these days? Nobody seems to pick up for fuck all.
I've received 158 calls in the last 7 days, and not one was a valid call. All spam and fraud.
For some reason I don't get spam calls. I'm just had to look and the last call I received about anything was on the 18th of February. Where are all my spam calls dammit, I'm missing out.
What's your phone number I'll look it up?
Do you give your number out to non-mandatory anything?
I don't know.
Android is pretty damned good at filtering those. I usually have 1-2 a week that I have to send to the transcription service.
The landline at work is a different story.
It doesn't offer any out of the box filters to my knowledge. What are you talking about?
My carrier does but it's pretty bad. It does filter maybe 70 out of 150 and then I blocked each and every one. At a certain point I'll have blocked every single number in my area code. Which is fine because I no longer live in the area code for my phone number.
I have had none in the last month. It's the magic of not giving my number to anyone who does not absolutely require it.
This is so annoying, I like to remain in the room even if I’m using my phone, but my friends literally check-out. Like they’re in another place and can’t communicate with me whilst using their phones.
A relative does that, and sometimes completely forgets we were having a convo after they’re done with the phone
I used to date a girl who would answer her phone mid-sex to have some innane conversation for 30 minutes and not see a problem with that at all. That relationship did not last very long.
Did you shrug and just keep going?
Nah, that's a put your pants back on and go home scenario for me.
I’m sorry but lmao
I feel so disengaged when someone does that to me that I just stop communicating with them in the future
It's unpopular because it's so far removed from it's closes analogue analogue, envelope mail. And because it's on mobile phones people incorrectly assume it's closer to a phone call.
I find it's simpler to simplify all internet scenarios to postal mail & home telephone scenarios.
I always see the priority from highest to lowest as Calls, then texts then emails. Texts can be responded to immediately or later in the day, but more than ~4-8 hours is unacceptable
I'd raise that to 24 hours, but you're right. I know two people like that. One just lets messages pile up until they feel like responding, which can take up to a month. Another straight up told me they have so much incoming messages that they have no hope of ever going throughб so if I wanted to reach themб I should keep messaging them like every few minutes to keep the dialogue up in the list. I'd say that's just a poor communications hygiene. Suffice to say I don't really talk to either of them anymore. I know smalltalk isn't urgent, but I cant see it as a dialogue anymore if it goes slower than a message/day.
Orrrrrr he has social anxiety and has difficulty replying.
Sincerely, somebody with social anxiety
It could be both... PvP me!
First reply> 12hrs ago
Second reply> 2hrs ago
Checks out...
This is me too. That and there is this stupid goddamn idea of "caring too much." Like responding quickly is a bad thing because it makes you seem desperate... Ffs I wouldn't be messaging you if I wasn't interested, but now I need to wait and play a stupid mind game so I don't lose the persons interest because they might assume that stupid thing about quick replies being a bad thing...
I hate mental games so freaking much...
If the other person cares about silly games like this, they might not be that interested in taking to you.
Yeah, find someone not into playing head games. There are plenty such people about.
There's a Deathbulge comic for that, I just can't find it. Basically a dude taking forever to reply to get "cool points" and accidentally replying immediately a second time, immediately losing all his cool
If it's recently, its probably helldiver's 2 in which case wait your fucking turn lady! He's risking his life to spread liberty and force democracy on godless bugs and soulless robots. THESE ARE IMPORTANT THINGS
Rock and stone for me. Also has bugs nad robots, but more capitalist ⛏️
Rock and stone, brother!
Thank you for your service, helldiver!
I kind of wish helldivers had more downtime so I wouldn't neglect my gf's texts as much
There's tons of downtime if you're trash like me! Two minute respawn timer hangout gang through and through
At one point in college some friends and i made up a system for just explicitly state what sort of response you needed. Ok, "made up a system" is a little over stating it. Basically it was "Hey this is important can I have your undivided attention?" through the lens of stupid nerd jokes. Like, "setPriority(10) i'm locked out of my apartment do you have a spare key?" vs "setPriority(0) i am so mad that fallout3 requires GFWL"
Now i'd probably just say "hey this is important do you have a few minutes?" in normal words.
Thinking about it, I think I have 4 priorities as things stand: 4 - Message in the group chat 3 - Message in the group chat with @ 2 - Direct message 1 - Phone call
Priority 00 - A regular text message and two phone calls back to back.
Priority -1 - I'm showing up at your door.
-2 - I'm breaking in with a battering ram
If you used setPriority, does that mean all subsequent messages have the same priority? Or is this a dsl that implicitly takes the message as the second parameter?
The priority would stay as set until explicitly changed, or it was set back to the default after a period of inactivity.
Pretty good protocol. I like it.
Its
UDPUnlimited Dependable Priority
I unironicly love that
setPriority(4) Hmmm actually I like this
You have my undivided attention… while I queue for the next game.
If you dont know why it takes me 25 minutes to respond, you dont know me well enough to get mad that you are only #2 on my priorities list.
Yes I will have one round of video games please
25 Minute Civilization rounds are a thing. Just one more round bro
You can tell this if your man starts replying in one minuite, but gets progressively slower and slower until it's one hour each by the end.
Battlefield rounds can easily be that too. In custom matches in can be 1½ hours!
Wait.. some people immediately text back, over and over? Huh.
I’m actually thinking about the Roman Empire when this happens.
Me too, but that's because I'm playing Crusader Kings
Any breaks during CK3 make me forget which country the daughter was to be married to compared to the country who's line you were exterminating to get a title, yeah I need to sort that out before replying to a text about what flavour ice cream is the best. I do need to work on my memory though.
Reminds of peep show where David Mitchell injects the Battle of Stalingrad into every other conversation he has with a woman lol
But what do women do when they respond somewhere in between 4 hours to 30 days?
Actual games. Obviously I'm generalizing here and that isn't fair, but there are times when I feel like my wife is a Great Wife Buffalo who has never had the patience for that bullshit. She's very direct when communicating.
Sounds like Battlefield, COD or any battle royale game. 25-35 minute average on all those
1 turn in Civilization (it's late game and there are 15 other players).
And Ghandi got his nukes. So time is very limited before world destruction begins.
My wife plays way too many video games at work apparently. Or is this just a guy thing?
So what's her excuse when it's the other way around?
Why wouldn't it be video games?
Because women don't play video games, silly!
Because the text makes it sound like the person disapproves of the delay being caused by video games.
Also the language is weirdly stilted in a way that suggests they probably dont play video games.
Would you be wrong in saying a given woman is statistically unlikely to play video games?
Fully half of women report they never play video games, and even more report specifically playing The Sims and nothing else.
Lots of chicks out there for whom gaming isn't part of their world.
We’re not allowed to ax that question.
My priority list goes:
People in front of me What I'm doing now Thoughts in my head Digital communication
Gotta leave an empty line in between
Yeah but now you put them in a code block
It should be
People in front of me
What I'm doing now
Thoughts in my head
Digital communication
Code block = copy & paste-able.
I prefer to use code blocks for code only. But it can also make something stand out more.
Whenever someone sends me an important message and I don't read/respond in time, they call to get my attention so I can do so. My ex used to get mad at me for "ignoring" her for 2h or more and would call. I was just busy doing whatever and ignoring the phone as usual.
I hate that. Also in a business setting. By definition a message (be it text, email, whatever) is not urgent. They might be important and of course you shouldn't leave them unread for days, but for urgency there's calls.
I always perceive an IM as high but not immediate importance, an email as "get to it when you can", and phone call as immediate.
The older people I work with tend to call for email level things.
Oh I'm busy doing some other aspect of my life. Might possibly be that I'm working, at my job, which by the way was one of your requirements on the dating profile.
Not absolutely everything in my life is about video games.
It's almost as if it's a joke.
Oh, yeah, I forgot that kind of humor where it sounds exactly like a bad take.
Here you go:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedic_device
Looks like a solid example of Misdirection and Understatement combined.
(This comment is also an example of Double Entendre.)
If you want immediate responses, CALL THEM.
Ew. Call? Like on a phone?
Yeah, it's weird that we've relegated this amazing technology that lets you communicate by voice (and now video) to the back burner in favor of a far more cumbersome one that removes so much context in terms of tone.
I hate the ringing of a phone, so I think it is a very acceptable level of cumbersome.
For me it's not video games, but adequacy. I found out that if I'm tired, I behave like shit and may respond with some gibberish
If you send me more than three texts in a row, I'm calling your ass to sort things out.
I don't want to be repeatedly distracted from real life. It's annoying.
I'd like to imagine it causing some situations similar to this.
Would probably be a lot faster if he was
For an average guy, you'd be lucky to get more than one convo.
As another user mentioned, there are bigger priorities at the moment on top of texting-- like you're working. And personally, I don't like texting especially with crappy autocorrect of phones. I prefer speaking in person.
Nah... If I'm taking long to respond, I just don't particularly like you. Simple as that.
Texting is a non-instantaneous form of communication for when things aren't time sensitive. If both of you are choosing to communicate via text then both of you are in agreement that immediate response is not required.
Therefore the lack of intermediate response is not indicative of anything.
Get out of here trying to put significance on things that have none.
Uiuiui, someone got hurt
she cute
Oh for god sake. Yeah those six pixels that you can see are real attractive.
Hey! When I was 14, living under the tyranny of dial up, I jerked off to fewer pixels on a regular basis.
Stop bandwidth shaming!
This is what happens when your boobs can no longer distract people from their lives and you have to fall back on your lack of a personality.
Pretty yikesy take. If your first response to a post is to reduce someone to a sex object, that's some incel-ass vibes.
With that personality, I'd prefer you to have boobs.
Or, alternatively, you have difficulty relating to others and so all you notice is their "appearance/perceived wealth".
I can certainly say this is the case for me. I don't know many men or women I have any real interest in getting to know better let alone actually become romantically involved with. I used to just go off physical attraction and try to power through the relationship by faking interest in whatever they wanted to talk about and being funny which could usually carry it for a few months before they got bored of me. At this stage of my life though I've gotten over the "need to be in a relationship to feel complete" thing so now I just don't try to date.
You might find you fit under the aromantic umbrella, if you're looking for others in your situation. It's certainly a valid state to be in, and I hope that not having to seek out romantic relationships has made your life more fulfilling.
What I'd caution (or what I found particularly irritating in the comment I initially replied to) was implying that one is superior and all others are vacuous shells of human beings, which just comes across as pompous and arrogant.
I don't think it makes me better than anyone. Sorry if my comment came across that way. If anything I think it makes me an asshole. I just can't really do anything to change that about myself other than bow out of the dating game.
Oh don't worry -- I didn't get that from your comment! Only the original one I replied to. And I don't think having difficulty with romantic relationships or necessarily friendships makes you an asshole. I hope you're able to find what makes you happy.
Oof. You should do some internal work, this comes off pretty pathetically.
Definitely not where that’s been